I hate being impulsive.
Relying on impulse is the easiest thing to run to when a situation isn’t going well. The impulse is the great mental escape, and it feels good to answer the first impulse and ride it until the wheels fall off.
There are several culprits to whet my appetite for impulse. If my phone is around, check it, tweet, send some texts out. If I am at a bar, grab a drink and get lost into space. If I am at a restaurant, grab some food and get into the taste. The impulsive feeling is strong. It feels good and makes me comfortable. These are things I control. I will do anything to take myself out of discomfort, even if it is only for a second.
I always admire the people who get the big things done. When I think of them, I think of self-discipline and willpower. With that said, after picking up the book Daily Rituals, I recognize that is an over simplification. The book talks about the rituals of many people whose work I respect. They are people who got some big things done. They were also impulsive. They didn’t have the cell phone, but they had a newspaper. They didn’t have a movie house, but they had a play. There was always a drink or a drug, but they learned that a system based approach works better than anything else.
Two lessons I picked up. One, beating myself up isn’t going to make me better. Self discipline matters and so does willpower, but one must factor humanity. I am not a robot so I can’t pretend that I won’t mess up and I won’t have impulses. Two, when you feel odd, make sure you have a huge book collection. The wisdom that you can grab from a book is always there, it doesn’t change its words, and you learn without judgement.