“No” is a powerful word for discovery, too.
I started this month in one direction: “no” is a word primarily used for power dynamics.
I thought of “no” just as a way to bend one’s will.
What I realized, however, is that “no” is a word is not just a word of power. “No,” is a way to explore ourselves and the community around us.
“No” has just as much worth as a word of discovery.
“No” leads to external discovery.
Putting our ideas into the world is dangerous to our ego because we hear the word “no.” Ideas are our babies in a sense, and because of that, sometimes we hide the idea from our community.
Except in most circumstances, our community wants us to succeed, and the only danger that could happen by putting an idea out there is hearing the word “no.”
This starts a conversation and creates pushback, a good thing. This conversation causes awareness and through that, possible alignment*. When we make those around us aware, we create a connection.
We, as human beings, crave connection. Without a connection to something, most of us can’t work at our best.
“No” leads to internal discovery:
As much as we think we always act in our best interests, we don’tIn deciding to say “yes” to ourselves all the time, we will sometimes cut off our nose to spite our face.
We have the last word when it comes to the decisions we make.The outside world is powerful in its own right, but it is worth the time to train the “kill switch.” In this case, the “kill switch” is the word “no.”
If we don’t, it leads us to some behavior that wastes energy to get “satisfaction.” These behaviors have consequences, the most important one being that they waste your time. No one keeps score.
This doesn’t mean become a robot. Our emotions matter, and are an important guide to understanding ourselves. They aren’t the end of the line. Emotions can take control,but we always have the “kill switch.” There is always a better decision, and “no” helps us get there.
*I say possible alignment because alignment isn’t the end goal, you shouldn’t always listen to the crowd.
Top 10 Posts for the Month:
- Don’t Do “Hit Lists”
- Don’t Forget to Breathe
- Hate-Sharing, Venting, and Keeping the Bad Feeling Alive
- Forgive Yourself
- Sharpen Your Sword, It Doesn’t Need Another Guard.
- Not Doing It – Stop Adding New
- The Garlic Problem
- Service, Not Self
- Wasting Energy with a “Long No”
- Stop Them at the Ask
- Thank You for Arguing: What Aristotle, Lincoln, and Homer Simpson Can Teach Us About the Art of Persuasion
- Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman!: Adventures of a Curious Character
- The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future
- Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai
- 101 Things I Learned ® in Engineering School