I’m done with the job
I recently turned in my notice for resignation. It was difficult to do. I spent 6 years at a place that brought me to New York, paid me well, and taught me a lot of things. They prepared me for the journey I am about to embark on because it forced me to face my faults, and learn my strengths and weaknesses. They treated me very well, because besides what I mentioned above, I got the following.
- 3 Weeks Vacation
- Raise every year
- Decent Bosses
In this, or any time, this seems ridiculous.
I am not wired to enjoy the comfort too long
I expected more, got into lifestyle creep, and next thing I knew, my weight got bigger. I felt myself slipping. There is a decision cost with everything, including staying. Vacation wasn’t a vacation at all. Instead of a recharge, I found myself using vacation as an escape. I didn’t find myself recharged to get back to work and give value, I thought about “I hate I had to go back to work” (This isn’t to be confused with the idea of leaving the vacation spot. I love getting back to New York, but work, especially at the end, made my stomach curdle).
Valuing my voice
The 2015 99U conference was huge for me, and a watershed moment in my life. Being around that energy made me feel different. I felt comfortable, engaged, and closer to work. I built connections and started learning about how I add value to others. It started giving me the confidence that this move may work. I don’t know if it will, but isn’t that the fun part?
Creativity and betting on myself
Sometimes things feel too safe. What do I mean by that? Well, some people love for risk aversion, and some people aren’t. Working at this job taught me that I wasn’t one of those people, that my best work comes when the world is coming at me and I get the creativity to figure out how to handle it. Like a dog that is house trained, my instincts began to fail me. Instead of growth, I got comfortable. Knowing where my next check was coming, that every Thursday things get OK, made me complacent. All experimental work became an intellectual exercise. I started to lose my creativity and it got replaced by that comfort. No matter how many books I bought or side work I did, I felt trapped. The job had to come first, and along side of it brought some long weeks and an unpredictable schedule. So it’s time to bet on myself, and see where that goes.
This isn’t a treatise on why a stable 9-5 sucks
If you came here looking for a reason to quit your job, you won’t find it here. There is a lot of proud and intelligent people where I work. Creating a freelance job doesn’t make you better or worse. If you wonder what the upside to that, go back and read that list at the start of this article. I only think this is the right move for me, and a chance to experiment with a different lifestyle. If this doesn’t work, I’ll move back to what I used to do in a heartbeat. There is no pride in this decision, just a risk and an experiment – no different then walking without my cellphone for a month. I know I need change, so here we are.