Self-Discipline and Self-Awareness

My inner voice is screaming.

This morning, I wanted to avoid this blog.

A sense of rebellion, a chance to run away from myself to spite me.

In a way, it functions as a reminder of how your internal dialogue is irrational.

It isn’t necessarily wrong.  That alarm exists for a reason. This self-rebellion is the result of something being “off.”

Self-discipline is knowing how to avoid your inner voice to finish things that need doing after that initial alarm. 

Self-awareness is taking that inner-voice seriously enough to sit down and continue the “conversation” after the alarm.

Don’t run from the next step.

 

 

Discipline and Work

Our lives are built on the discipline we have to do the things we want.

Unless you want to go with the flow, you have to create a space for your mind to work – that takes hard work.

Hard work never hurt anyone – as long as its work that mattered – and you need discipline to e able to cut through your day to get to that hard work.

Administration Day

An administrative day.

A day where I would take care of all my small foible – batch all my annoying tasks in the morning or afternoon, would be good for me.

I am thinking of going with Sunday – a day where I do very little to schedule it. I will set the cue with me getting up, the habit will be me batching my tasks and getting all my small things done – and my reward will be the movies.

I think that works – and improves my life. Broadens my communication skills, and makes me an overall better person to be around – less stress.

Returning Habits

Habits are had to get started again once you lose them.

I recently went on vacation, and decided to detach from my routines. No more push ups, no writing, no thinking – just letting things go for the duration.

I thought this would relax me, however, when I returned, I found that my life was wrapped around disorder – instead of peace, I returned to chaos.

This week has been dedicated to slowly return to my habits, something that I thought would be easy, but it getting difficult – I forgot how I did things, and even why. I haven’t written anything down, and for that I find myself lost.

With that said, I am glad I recorded what the habits were on lift.do – so I have a roadmap to recovery.

Mindfulness

This morning I woke up thought about being mindful.

I came to the conclusion that being mindful is important. As a matter of fact, learning how to be mindful might be the most important thing in my life right now.

It is a part of everything anyone does. To me, mindfulness is the care of doing while you are doing. You can start things and even finish things without being mindful, but you end up losing out on the journey and missing on what you could learn.

The importance lies in the connection mindfulness has to discipline. It is one of the building blocks. Staying over and making sure that you do the right thing, and finishing that thing every time. I want to use that in everything I do.

Mindfulness is my key to success.

I am quite mindful of that.

Anger – Self Discipline

I was angry yesterday, as my boss called me.

He was asking to see if something was broken on a production system. In my line of current work, this means all hands on deck are looking at you, and you need to create a fix as soon as possible.

It goes without saying you are a ball of stress, especially if you have no idea that something has gone wrong – especially if its your day off, especially if you didn’t get much sleep, and especially if its a problem that was solved by you in the past.

It turned out to be a tempest in a teapot, for the most part. My boss looked at an old text message and assuming the worst, calling the vendor, calling other people, and calling me because he was sure there was a mistake.

I wonder if he really thought there was a mistake and that is how he handles everything, or was he just looking for trouble with me, swore he found it, and went to DEFCON 4 because he was sure that it was an issue.

Either way it left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I was angry, and still am because of the assumption. I feel like if someone is looking for trouble constantly, they are going to find it, whether it exists or not.

Gossip wins again – more on that at another time.


Another late day.

I am curious to find out what it is at this point. I wonder if it is just a lack of commitment to the life I chose, or am I just forcing my body to get more sleep based on my new habits. Either way, I have to figure this out, and do it soon.

Its one of the last stressful things in my life right now, and if I can figure it out, the guilt of doing this on a daily basis can be let go, and I can take this energy and place in on other things. I can become better with my skills as a professional, and my self discipline can improve.

That is what I want, iron self discipline. It is the one thing I have run away from, even as a kid.

I was always a rebel, and mostly I had no cause.I have come to the realization that as much of a problem some friends, coworkers, and people are, I could make things better by simply having the self discipline of a master.

How do I get that? I don’t know. I have been doing small things, such as trying this 16/8 diet, writing 3 things I care about, and typing in this blog everyday. I think those things have helped. I seem to have a little more focus at work, I retain more information, and I am making sharper writing decisions.

I understand it is a process, but I do want it to go a little faster.

I think I have to be more appreciative of the small things though. a month ago, my shirts weren’t fitting as nicely, and I was a lot more tired all the time. Regiment and process has helped me lose a bunch without even really doing anything, or making any significant changes.

Who knows where this will be by the end of the summer, once these habits are locked in and another set have been added on, making my mornings and nights full of undaunted productivity.

At the end of the month, I will be ready to add a new set. I will be trying 3 in the morning, and 2 at night. Ill see where it gets me. Hopefully I can eliminate the late thing too.

Self discipline seems to be the way out.


16/8 not done – 15/9
Water not done
reminder done
todo done
3 things done