Looking at The Past

Find when things changed

I have this theory.

All experiences have a tipping point. The exciting thing about the tipping point is that at the moment, it can come and go rather quickly. When we look back, we may miss it.

The sentence above isn’t the theory though.

This sentence, below, is:

As much as the experience of the actual tipping point of an event is essential, just as important is how you felt when it happened.

Our subconscious processes faster than our conscious, and our emotional state is often the reaction of it.

Why is this important?

I think our emotional state at that moment could act as an identifier to us knowing things are about to change. If we try to understand it and know the signs, we might get a “this is interesting” warning system.


Just a thought.

Don’t Freeze The Board!

I can’t see the future

I haven’t met anyone who could.*

Because of that, to help keep my ideas in perspective, I like to think about life as a game. And like most games, it comes with a board, rules, etc.

One of the most important rules of that game is that the board isn’t frozen, and won’t freeze unless I decide to freeze it.

What I mean by that is that there are multiple moves in any situation.

It helps to remind ourselves that the mind shifts its perception based on how we feel.

Instead of remembering that we can maneuver, our emotions freeze, take a snapshot and tells us to play the game as if the board is locked.

This is the point where we start making a “5-year plan” or saying things like  “forever.” We look at the world as it is now and thinks it was always this way. We stop talking to people we care about because the correspondence hit a lull and we didn’t email back.

Our abilities stay locked like the board, missing the opportunity (and fun) of life.

We make ourselves rigid in a world that rewards the flexible.

Rigid things break.

*If you see the future please tweet at me @thehonorableAT and let’s talk immediately.

Inner Peace Makes My Stomach Hurt

[bctt tweet=”At one point that would scare me, now it gives me calm when I get impatient. “]


Inner peace makes my stomach hurt. The idea of inner peace is lovely. For me, it’s the ability to reconcile any and every external and internal idea.  It would signal a lot more peaceful nights and active days. But when I think about it, it brings me a lot of turmoil.

It starts with the future.

I look at the work in front of me and feel awful for not starting sooner. Looking at the pile feels like Mount Everest. Tallying up the external and internal future work is scary. What about the things ahead that I can’t account for? What happens when I get screwed?

Then I go backward.

I look back at the past and feel awful for the things I done.I’ve hurt people, I’ve done wrong, and I left people feeling awful. I think we’ve all done it, but that is never an excuse. I know I will want to do it again. Revenge always feels good in the moment.Getting the best of someone makes me feel alive – for the moment. Then I feel awful and start feeling sad.

After dealing with both, I try to reconcile that the present has nothing to do with either. Being present is the hardest because both the future and past tug at you, waiting to grab your energy and attention. Its standing between two people playing tug of war, just hoping they equal out for a moment’s peace.


So, the thought makes my stomach hurt. But that’s progress, I think. Recognizing the work ahead is the first step in getting something done.

I am currently rereading Prometheus Rising – and one thing I missed  (embarrassingly) is that the exercises that Robert Anton Wilson suggest take years to complete, not weeks. Inner peace, or any semblance of it, isn’t present  in the time it takes to read a book, but only through application, and these days dealing with the tug of war, will I even come close.

At one point that would scare me, now it gives me calm when I get impatient.

Maybe its closer to inner peace?