Self-Doubt Is Here To Stay

You can’t drop self-doubt

That is a part of you, no different from your physical features and your experiences.

Don’t ignore it or try to cover it up using some “technique.” Your doubt isn’t going anywhere, so don’t waste your time.

That is like trying to suffocate yourself by holding your breath.

Any time you get close, you’ll just open your mouth.  Just like any time you try to ignore your self-doubt, it will reappear in front of you, like a scary child from a horror movie.

Instead, acknowledge that your doubt is there and get to work anyway.

The space between idea and output is execution, and it is a path full of doubt. Part of the art of being a professional is learning how to cross that road.

Time to start walking.

How Bold Is It to be Yourself; Fighting Self Doubt By Running Towards It

A sign of being on the right track is a huge ping of self doubt.

I remember recently, sitting at the computer, literally cursing at myself with each email I wrote. But before we get to that, lets talk about the price of being yourself, and what that delivers to you as a human being.

How bold is it to be yourself?

That pang of self doubt

It’s a scary thing. The moment you decide to break away from the comfortable, the things as they are, is the moment that guy starts making trouble for you.

The reason it is so bothersome is because since our youngest years, we’ve learned to not stand out, but to conform. We’ve learned horrible things like “be realistic” instead of listening to that internal rhythm.  We follow the group, not because of what we want to do, but because it’s safe.

Make no mistake, it takes a lot of confidence to walk into a place as yourself.  It also takes a lot of energy to tell other people who you are. Not the representative (the person sterilized by society, the one that fits in) but you, the person you are.

Cursing over emails

I found myself internally struggling. I sent a bunch of emails out, and with each one, I cursed out of frustration.  What kind of email was I sending? One that said  “Happy New Year”.

That wasn’t the part of the email that scared me. The part that scared me were the links to this blog that I sent. The biggest one was the end of 2015 post, one of my most personal. I bared a lot with that post, and it wasn’t a lot of great news in there.

If you wanted to hate me, I gave up some ammo.

The benefit

By being vulnerable, I found a lot of people felt safe enough to do the same in return. I appreciate their boldness.  Through being myself, I gained more connection, which I am learning, along with time, are the greatest currencies we have.

Now that I don’t have a regular 9-5, I don’t have a boss. What I do have, is that pang of self-doubt. I know if I am running towards it, and conquering it, there is a chance that I build a connection.

That connection always beats the cost.

 

From Large Room to Tiny Closet – Self Doubt

 

I witnessed my mental space go from large room full of space to tiny closet. Click To Tweet
I don’t listen to music anymore when I walk, and because of this, I end up having a lot more thinking time.

A lot more.

I am more productive as a result, but since I have more conscious time, I have a lot of thoughts.

Those thoughts, both good and bad creep in a place where they were not present for months at a time. It’s like an alcoholic getting sober, all those things that were put off mentally because of distraction find themselves in place.

One thing that arrives more often now is self defeatist thinking. I recognized how little permission I give myself on days where it strikes.I witnessed my mental space go from large room full of space to tiny closet.  

In short, self defeatist thoughts and other types of self doubt ruin your ability to be productive.

But they exist. There is no way to completely squelch the noise.

Sorry, if you were expecting a 10 ways to article after that intro, but I don’t want typical here.

What I do want, is to spend some time writing about where these things come from, and how close they are when we are “boxed in” that closet.

  • Prior experience – A tricky one here. We all have that thing that makes us cringe, and more importantly, we remember how that thing made us feel. Very easy to apply this to everything once we’re boxed in. Its the darkness of the closet.
  • Restlessness and Anxiety – Take the excitement of Christmas morning, and flip it. Usually when this washes over us, were worried that we don’t measure up. Think of it as the small space not letting us move and bounding up our energy.
  • Uncomfortable –  This isn’t something we don’t like, and it stings. Bad news, for example.  This feels like the unstable floor, like shoe were standing on.

The key is to remember that you only make progress by moving, but sometimes – its really hard.