Shut Down

My go-to move was shutting down.

Anytime I felt “wronged,” I knew I had one tool in the toolkit. I could take away my answer, and those around me would suffer.

I saw it as a form of intellectual drowning.

Instead of leading, I decided to be:

  • Selfish
  • Shameful
  • And just plain sucky

It didn’t hit me at the time, but that is a form of protecting my ego and proving myself. “You are going to see you needed me!”

What a form of arrogance.

The scary thing is, it still can, during a reactive moment, happen. It protected my ego from harm, and when I’m not vigilant, it will again.

If you find yourself doing this, one thing that has helped me fight the need to “prove” myself is pumping myself up through helping someone else achieve something. When you can focus on anything but yourself, you’ll find that the need to “prove” goes quickly.

It can come back again just as fast though, so stay vigilant by helping people often.

Healthy byproduct: people love people who help.