Are you complicated?
There are a lot of different sides of you.
We are not a monolith. Each one of our experiences shape us. The more prominent experiences become avatars, taking mental space and implicitly affecting our decisions, whether we want them to or not.
When we try to avoid those things, we lose, because there is no hiding from ourselves.
If you are wondering why you acted in a way that you don’t identify with, more than likely, it is a part of you.
Don’t avoid it. Try to listen and learn.